mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
