Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
