Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
