Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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