You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
