She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
