she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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