hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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