U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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