We got so high we made milksteak
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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