They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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