Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
