I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
