I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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