Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
