PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
