well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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