yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize