You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
