But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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