either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
