hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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