do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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