Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
