when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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