Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
