You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
