i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
