When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
