when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
