I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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