Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
