you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
