And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
