wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
