It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
