i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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