I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
