I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
