Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
