I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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