I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
