Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's get the cat blown out
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
