he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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