if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
