Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
