I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
