sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
