i jhust puked up my retainher.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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