So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
